July 27, 2009

It Ain't Pretty

So need to get this off my chest folks. For 17+ years I have been married. It has not been a good marriage. I will not bash my husband even though sometimes it would feel better to do so. But I will tell you he is an alcoholic and has always been very verbally abusive. Just recently he threatened to hit me and that is the reason I have finally left him. I really feel he threatened me to get me out of his life for good. And so it is.

My life is in upheavel not having my crafts and supplies here at my moms. All my craft stuff is at my old house so making dollys is out of the question for now and that is killing me. If I'm not creating then I'm going mad! So today I go to pick up some things such as my sewing machine, fabrics, sewing supplies and some of my patterns to work on. Or I will loose my mind. I have stacks of things to do, stuff to pack and phone calls to make and all I really want to do it craft. I need it for sanity sake. So off I go to my old house.

This is not the first time he has threatened me. It is one of the several. I have been thinking of leaving him for a long time anyway. He was worned back in March, but he didn't do anything about trying to make our lives better. The worst thing is how he treats his daughter. It is horrible to say the least. For a child to say she would rather walk down the isle alone instead of having her father walk her, that should tell you something.

So sorry that I am dumping like this but if I don't I will go mad. Thanks for listening and thanks for being there my friends. I don't feel so alone when I hear from you all. I hope in the future I will have positive things to write about but as for now, I'm gloomy and broken hearted.

There are several things that are good. The first one is that I will be going to beauty school in just a couple of weeks. I need something to help feed my family and working at Walmart just won't pay the rent. Also, I have my mom's to stay at for the duration but the adjustment is still taking some time to get used to. We all are working together for that.

Please pray for my kids, me and my mom that we will get through this and God will heal our broken hearts. Most of all that he will show us his will and guidance through it all. God bless. Cathy

7 comments:

Baggaraggs: said...

Cathy,

I am so very terribly sorry for you and hope that life gets better for you soon. It sounds like you have done the right thing. Hang in there. I will offer you uo in Prayer. Hugs, robin

AwtemNymf said...

Oh Hun- I had no idea things were so rough. I'm sorry! You're in my thoughts and prayers! Everyone is! Good for you for taking a stand and saying Enough is Enough! It may be bumpy now, but you've taken a huge step in changes! Good for you! I'm here if you need to rant or need to get it off of your chest! I'll be thinking of you and I hope the move goes smoothly for you! Gotta craft! BIG HUGS FOR YOU!!!!

Kai said...

We don't know each other yet we ARE connected. I'm SO proud of you for being strong enough to LEAVE. I stayed for 8 VERY long years in a relationship where I was beaten down emotionally and verbally and beaten up physically. It took a LOT to find the courage to say, "NO MORE." I walked away in 1994 & never looked back. Best gift I ever gave myself. I'm pulling for you & will come back to read how you're doing! STAY STRONG & LOVE YOURSELF!

Countryfolk Keepsakes said...

Hang in there darlin' and remember to always look up. Just when you think you can't handle it anymore, He is there to help you through. Know that I'm prayin' for you and your kids. :> )
~Peanut

AwtemNymf said...

Just checking in to see how you are? Been thinking of you!
Hugs!
~A~

A Creative Dream... said...

Cathy,
I just stopped in to see what new things you have and read your news. I'm so sorry that you are going through it, but all things happen with purpose and intent. Please know that angels are with you...and let us all know how things go for you.

June

lucy said...

Cathy, having grown up with 2 alchoholic parents, I understand how painful life with an alchoholic can be. I can also tell you..this too shall pass. Meanwhile, you'll stay in my thoughts and prayers. Keep creating--it was my thread to sanity in an insane situation. Lucy

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